I want a Machine That Goes Ping! Most of us probably do. If we didn’t,
we’d all be happy writing poetry, painting landscapes, or creating some
other form of Luddite media.
The point Monty Python makes near the beginning of The Meaning of
Life — or in honor of Jacques Derrida’s recent death, the point I’m going
to claim they make — is that impressive machinery serves needs beyond
pure function.
[Inside a hospital delivery room]
First Doctor
Bit bare in here today, isn’t it?
Second Doctor
Yeees.
First Doctor
More apparatus please, nurse.
Nurse
Yes doctor.
First Doctor
Yes, the EEG, the BP monitor and the AVV, please.
Second Doctor
And get the machine that goes "Ping!"
First Doctor
And get the most expensive machines in case the administrator comes.
- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
I’ve always appreciated good tools. When I worked as a bicycle mechanic
in my youth, I truly enjoyed using tools made by Campagnolo, VAR and
Park. Shops reserved the full Campagnolo tool kit for assembling and
repairing only the best bikes. I also used Craftsman and Snap-on tools
and they worked fine. But turning the Campy tools was nearly as
pleasurable as riding a fine bike.
At an audio equipment manufacturer, I used test equipment made by
Hewlett-Packard, Tektronix and others. They weren’t simple tools to
master, but once I RTFM and worked with them for a while, their design
became clear and the tools let me do my job faster and better. And they
looked cool.
Sure, I get some pleasure from just using the tools themselves—whether
I’m working on bikes or video. But the real thrill comes from what
those tools help me do—create.
Size Matters
There’s another benefit, at least from a business point of view.
Customers and clients rarely buy and use tools that are expensive and
complex if they won’t use them full time. It just isn’t worth it to
them; it makes more sense to hire people like us.
And many clients want their productions made with a Machine That Goes
Ping! (MTGP!). When you shoot with a camera that’s as big as one used
by television news crews, the clients assume they’re getting
professional results they couldn’t get on their own.
But if you’re rolling with a camera like the one some kid uses to tape
his skate-rat buddies, the client may wonder why your rates are so
high. The issue here isn’t the quality of the work; it’s client
perceptions.
This is something we lived through with the DV format. When people
thought about hiring the kid down the street, rates dropped. Sometimes
quality dropped. Some clients noticed the drop in quality. Some didn’t,
or didn’t care.
As DV cameras and SD NLEs became inexpensive and ubiquitous, I, and
many others, saw HD production as a way to maintain clients, quality
and margins. Now, along comes HDV.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m thrilled I can buy an HD camera for a few
thousand dollars and an HD NLE system with a credit card (instead of a
business loan). But when clients and hobbyists can afford or already
own the very tools we use to earn our living, we need to make an extra
effort to convince them we’re still worth our day rate. So while a
small-format camera isn’t a MTGP! there are other machines to turn to.
Job Security Blankets
An Australian designer created a MTGP! by attaching an SGI monitor to
his desktop computer running After Effects. This was a few years ago,
before AE was a widely accepted tool, so the client was comforted by
those three little letters on the monitor bezel. They got and kept him
in the room. The designer never claimed to be working on an SGI system
and he didn’t jack up his rates. And the client loved the designer’s
work. That’s what cinched the deal and brought him back for future gigs.
Not all clients need to see a MTGP!. But some do. Clients have enough
to worry about. It’s our job to make sure they don’t have to worry
about their video or film. If a Ping! provides temporary comfort, then
I have a better chance of making them happy with the end result.
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